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This morning I cried.

Just for 30 seconds or so.

You ever hear the saying β€œNo need crying over spilled milk”? Well I did just that!

I got up earlier than usual because I wanted to spend some time praying and reading before the boys got up. But I decided to make my husband a small breakfast sandwich and pour him a cup of sweet tea. (literally runs through his veins) Haha. Well as he was about to walk out the door for work I said, β€œHey, that’s for you.” With a big-o smile on my face. I always love doing little things for him. For anyone really. But he looked up the stairs at me where I was standing and said, β€œEeh, I don’t want it.” With a scrunched nose look. β€œWhat’s in the cup though?” he asked, and I said, β€œsweet tea.” β€œOh, I’ll take that. Thanks though! Love you.” I almost started crying right then and there but waited until he closed the door behind him. I stepped into our game-room where I was planning to pray and have some me time and just started crying!!

Can you believe that?? I was really crying over the fact that he did not want the sandwich I made him. I was so proud of myself getting up early and making him something to eat on the way to work. I think it just hurt my feelings more than anything. It could be that I have been in my own mind a lot lately and this was just the one thing that made me snap. I know it’s not a big deal but at that moment it was a big deal to me.

Moms, I know it’s hard to keep doing what Jesus would do. I know it’s hard to keep picking up toy after toy. It is extremely hard to continue working even though your husband is home from work and you have already been going all day. The dishes seem never ending, you sometimes wish the washer would just break so you don’t have to do another load of laundry. Haha. But what really matters is not how many times you repeat the same routine, it is always about why you do the things you do.

Trust me, sometimes I think to myself, well if he could just see how the kids acted today and how I still got these things done! Or, I was feeling so out of it, yet I still found the strength to clean our room. Those may sound like small things to other people but to a mother those can be some our biggest accomplishments during the week. It’s not easy trying to clean when you have kids eating and throwing food on the ground or when you are trying to clean their room and they decide they want to dump every single toy out of their toy box. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING?!

All I know is that it’s okay to cry over spilled milk. It’s okay to just break down and have a moment that is yours. I have found that sometimes it’s exactly moments like this morning where I realize why I am a mother and who I do all these chores for.

It’s not for me, my husband, or my kids. This will sound very clichΓ© but everything I do, from the moment I wake up until the moment I close my eyes is for the Lord. He has chosen me to be a mother of 2 little boys and a wife to my husband. He gave me the opportunity to serve Him by serving my family. I shouldn’t do things expecting a reward or something in return. I should clean and cook and give the boys a bath because that is my role as a mother. That is what I am good at and that is exactly why Jesus gave me this job. Because we as moms are ASTOUNDING LOVERS. Whether that love for you is cooking, cleaning, working an office job or whatever it may be. We were created to love in ways that only moms can love. And I’m perfectly okay with that. You should be too!

So next time you feel unappreciated, our husband doesn’t take his breakfast/lunch you made him, (not gonna mention any names, hahaha!) or your kid really does spill their milk after you just mopped the floor, it’s okay to shed a few tears. Because I think it reminds us all that Jesus is always watching. And that is who we want to make happy.

-Bianca

Soul & Honey

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